I fucking love recruiting. Grown men banking on a cocky 17-year-old kid who is probably being pulled a million different ways to make an educated decision that is sure to have a massive impact on his future, while it ALL plays out on social media. Only in America. And even more so in Texas.
One of the best things about following the recruiting circuit are the awesome names you come across and the 2020/2021class have some Hall of Namers. Below are your Best Names in College Football: 2020 and 2021 Recruits Edition!
Lake McRee – Lake Travis HS – TE (Committed to Texas)
It’s not very rare that someone has a first name that correlates with where they live. There are plenty of Austin’s in Austin, Dallas’ in Dallas, Houston’s in Houston etc. Hell, there are even kids named after bodies of water (RIP River Phoenix). What is rare is someone’s first name being a body of water and that same body of water being the name of their high school. Wild. Would be awesome if it becomes more commonplace so we can have Lake McRee lining up against Ocean Breeze from Ocean City, or Creek Crawford from Creek Side HS. The possibilities, man.
Xzavier Henderson – Columbus High School (Miami, FL) – WR (Clemson lean)
This is less of a blurb and more of a thank you letter to Xzavier’s parents. For centuries, humans have had no clue how to pronounce someone named Xavier – is X-avier or Zavier? I used to work with a dude named Xavier and he told me multiple times how to pronounce it but I could never remember. Nothing was worse than being forced to mumble the first part of his name and then finishing with a strong “Avier”. Also, every time March Madness rolls around, there’s that school—no one can tell me where it’s located—that makes a mythical bracket busting run…then gets murdered in the Sweet 16, and all the while no one knows how to pronounce it! This clears it all up! It’s X-Zavier. Plain and clear.
To the Henderson’s: we appreciate you doing us a solid when Xzavier was born and spelling it clearly so we can stop looking like inconsiderate pricks.
Tonka Hemingway – Conway HS (Conway, SC) – DT (S. Carolina lean)
When I initially saw this name I knew he had to be one of the big uglies upfront. Similar to Cowboys legend D’brickashaw Ferguson. Still hoping to name my first born D’brickashaw. Either way, Tonka Hemingway is the human version of the trucks we loved to bash into shit when we were kids. His style of play is not much different. Checking in at 6’2+ and 260 lbs, he has solid size and the attitude to go with it. Here is to hoping that this kid turns out to be a stud and is eventually drafted by the Cowboys.
Prince Dorbah (OLB, Highland Park HS, Texas Commit) and Princely Umanmielen (DE, Manor HS, OU lean)
Anytime your name is associated with a royal title, you are going to have some lofty expectations. King, Prince, Duke all require the carriers be held to a higher standard. These two guys are serious forces on the defensive side of the ball, and, if things pan out, they will see each other on opposite sidelines at the Red River Shootout in Dallas. Finally, a royal event worth giving a shit about!
Kelee Ringo – Saguaro (Scottsdale, AZ) – CB (UGA lean)
Let’s start with this kid’s resumé. He is the #1 CB in the nation, the best player in the state of Arizona and the #9 overall recruit in the 2020 class. A 6’2, 205 defensive back who can lock people down and bring the wood. That is not very surprising considering his coach is Mr. Bryant Westbrook, the Lifetime Longhorn and man who delivered two of the nastiest hits in CFB history, Mr. Bryant Westbrook.
The name Ringo also immediately makes me think of Johnny Ringo from Tombstone. For those not familiar, he was a bad motherfucker who was the most feared gunslinger in the Wild West, which essentially makes him the coolest guy on the entire planet. Ringo is likely to instill the same amount of fear into opposing offenses in the coming years. Hopefully some team he faces in future will have a WR by the name of Doc Holliday…
Power Echols – Zebulon B. Vance (Charlotte, NC) – ILB (2021 Recruit)
Anytime your name is an verb, it better be good, and, more importantly, you better live up to it. Like Mr. Tonka, when I saw this name, I knew it wasn’t going to be a dainty WR. Naturally, this guy is a physical inside linebacker who already received a Clemson offer after his sophomore year. How sick would it be to be a 16 year old, with a Clemson offer in hand, smashing pulling guards?….and oh yeah, your name is FUCKING POWER! Cheers to you bro, please don’t hurt me.
Sav’ell Smalls – Kennedy Catholic (Burien, WA) – OLB (Bama lean)
Not that this will be said often, considering he is maybe THE best player in the entire 2020 class…but it would be great to coach a kid where you could yell “You’re killing me Smalls!” every time he fucked up.
Hingle Mcringleberry