Houston U. of Houston

With Dana Holgorsen Leaving For Houston, Who Is The Hair Apparent In The Big 12?

First of all, RIP to Dana’s hair making its presence known in the Big12. I know I was always intimidated when he came to town and for good reason. Just look at that flow:

It was widely known Klif Kingsbury was the hair apparent to Dana’s title but now that he is also gone, the field is wide open. Which is good because it gives some of these new, young guys a chance at the title.

Les Miles (Kansas):

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One of the newest coaches in the Big12 and man does Les make a splash in the hair department. Strictly business. The old school football flattop. Reminds me a lot of Spike’s dad from little giants.

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Just eerily similar looks from Les and Spike’s dad. I know this is a “copycat” league but when ranking hair I CANNOT reward copiers. Sorry, Les. For that, you do not make our Top 3 list.

Tom Herman (Texas): Something is fishy with his hair. Just look at this picture from his OSU days:

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And now this?

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Hair plugs? Rogaine? I simply do not know and for that reason I have no other choice but to disqualify him from this race. Like I said previously, I cannot and will not reward copiers and cheaters. Zac Smith, if you have any information on this please let us know.

Gary Patterson (TCU):

Absolutely way too much forehead. But great hair in the back.

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Which is probably why he goes with the visor. Veteran move. When you have great hair up top, but none in the front, you put on a visor and everyone assumes you have incredible flow everywhere. No ones the wiser. Unfortunately, we know the truth though, so, Gary you will not be making our top 3 list either.

Lincoln Riley (OU):

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The definition of a solid 7. It’s nothing to write home about but also nothing to be embarrassed about. Signs do point to balding but right now I am comfortable enough to put him in our top 3. Looks like Lincoln can win without Baker after all.

Neal Brown (West Virginia):

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Nothing bad to say here. This man was born in the South and it shows with that swoop. An absolute classic old fashioned Alabama/SEC swoop. If you’re a coach and still rocking the casual swoop you deserve to be in the top 3. So, congrats, Coach! You’ve made Number 2 on our list.

Mike Gundy (OSU):

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No surprise. Gundy takes the crown. He’s been putting in the work for years and it’s finally paid off. He’s waited and prepared for this moment. The work he has put in the last couple years has not gone unnoticed.

For those coaches that didn’t make the list I would like for you to take a deep look at not only Coach Gundy, but yourself. Ask “Did I do everything I could this offseason?” I think you each know the answer. So, get to work and send us your resume next Summer. We’ll be here.

To those of you who aren’t coaches, just strive for flow like this dude and you can’t go wrong: