Houston Texans

What If I Told You, I Know Exactly Where Jadeveon Clowney Is

Earlier this month, it was reported Jadeveon Clowney, who currently is in a holdout with the Texans, planned to show up to training camp after the third preseason game. But today, when asked if that was still the case, Head Coach/GM Bill O’Brien said he had no idea when Clowney would report. His exact quote:

“I don’t know. I really don’t.” O’Brien told NFL Network about Clowney’s plans. “I know he’s working hard. He’s out there working out. He’s in shape. He’s doing everything he needs to do to be ready to play. But ultimately that’s up to him [when he reports]. When he wants to show up, he’ll show up, and he’ll be ready to go. He’s a professional. When that happens, we’ll move forward with that. But I have no idea when he’ll be here. I can’t predict that.”

Well lucky for Bill, I know exactly where Jadeveon is. But, before I tell Bill or you where he is, let me first tell you where he is not:

That’s right, he is not with the Bills, Ravens, Bills, Dolphins or Knicks. So, go ahead and mark those teams and places off your list. Also, while you’re at it go tell all those dumbasses to stop reporting fake news and/or at minimum keep my guy Jadeveon off their lips!

So, if he’s not at those places, then where the fuck is? More clues first:

Interesting. But seems like those guys are just trying to throw us off the trail. So, I’ll just go ahead and say it.

However, before I do the big reveal, I think it’s important to know just why Texans’ fans want him back:

For starters, he was the FIRST OVERALL pick in the 2014 draft. Not just a first round pick, the very fucking first pick. He hasn’t been a bust either. He is one of the more productive defensive players in the league.

Although he missed a lot of time his first two years, he still has managed to rack up 205 tackles, 151 solo tackles and 29 sacks. Last year alone he had 47 tackles, 38 solo and 9 sacks. Bottom line, Jadeveon can play. And with him, JJ and Mercilus all at full strength they are going to be a problem. HUGE problem. No offensive line wants that in their life.

Now, one last thing before I tell you exactly where Jadeveon is, and that is why he is not at training camp.

You see, the Texans want to franchise tag Jadeveon next season and under the tag he would earn $15.967 million in 2019. Obviously, that is good money. It’s about 15 million more than my salary. But the problem is Houston is being greedy. They are trying to franchise tag him as a linebacker instead of as a defensive end, even though last year he played 729 snaps at defensive end and just 33 at line backer. Why would Hoston do that? Because how franchise tags work is they are tied to positional salaries around the league. Meaning the amount of money you get under a franchise tag depends on the position you play. And linebackers gets paid less than defense ends under a franchise tag. So, Houston tagging Clowney as a LB instead of DE will cost Jadeveon over a million dollars.

Doesn’t matter how rich you are, a million dollars is a million dollars and to add that pay cut with not get paid top dollar at the peak/prime of your career has to be infuriating.

Which leads us to where Jadeveon is. Bill, you ready?

Here you go:

He’s chillin until you pay him, Bill. That’s what he’s doing. So pay the man!