Austin Longhorns

Is This The Worst Donut To Have Ever Existed

The “hook down” donut has to be in the running for top three dumbest donuts ever made. OU fans, however, are out here thinking they’re the Andy Warhol of donuts. OU Picasso.

Fucking, idiots.

I mean, you flip the donut around, it’s a “hook’em” horns:

Picture this, an OU fan is walking to a tailgate party and strolls by the donut table but happens to be on the opposite side of the “horns down” donut, so, that fan sees a “hook’em”, not a “horns down.” Now, we have a confused OU fan questioning whether they’re at an OU or UT tailgate. And trust me, there’s nothing worse than dealing with a delusional, confused OU fan. What a mess.

As to the logistics of actually eating the donut, if you’re an OU fan you’d be forced to eat the donut going from the palm to the fingers in order to ensure the donut is “horns down” the whole time it’s being eaten. An incredibly impractical way to eat this particular donut. Not to mention, if you eat the palm first, then all the fingers will unravel and now you’re standing around holding five separate finger donuts. Yikes.

Clearly, the best way to eat the donut would be to eat finger by finger before getting to the palm, but that of course means the OU fan has to eat the donut “hook’em” up, not down. Needless to say, eating this donut is going to be way too much thinking for your average OU fan.

Which brings us to the last question, what’s the penalty for an OU fan caught tailgating with this donut? Or even worse, an OU fan that brings the donut into the game:

Obviously, you cannot give a fan 15 yards. I guess jail time is the next option? If the NCAA wanted to go light, maybe a life time ban to the Red River Shootout? At this point, I’m not sure the appropriate way to punish these unruly OU fans but I’m open for suggestions.


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