Yesterday, under the cover of night, the Twitter police whisked away The First Lady and her bff Rocky, throwing them straight into twitter jail. Austinites were shocked. Worried. Outraged. Beside themselves. What crime could our First Lady and bff Rocky possibly commit to deserve such a lashing?
Are you sitting down. Because here it is:
That’s correct, they exposed some racist assholes phone number who called The First Lady making racist asshole remarks. What. The. Fuck. Does Twitter not believe in justice? More importantly, do LSU fans have no morals? Shouldn’t they be gator hunting or some shit? They definitely shouldn’t be calling women who are clearly out of their league.
Not to mention, it has been 5 days since LSU cried of no AC and faked cramps worse than my girlfriend when trying to get a new purse. But they want to keep talking about it. BROS, GET OVER IT. At least Coach O is now joking about it.
Which makes sense being that his statements have all been verified as lies.
But after last nights twitter arrest, I think it’s time we call a freeze on the entire saga. We simply cannot have our First Lady doing anymore time. She’s too important. To valuable to our success. She’s fiery and cannot help herself. That’s what makes her great. It’s what has gotten her to this point. But if we continue to go this route, she won’t be able to help herself. Mrs. Herman and Rocky will surely be right back in jail. And I’ll be back with them, fighting the good fight. But I wont stand for that. Too much season is left. So, I’m asking Longhorn Nation to stand down.
I know people will look to me and say, what the fuck man, you have had no filter when it’s come to #CrampGate and #ACGate. That’s true. I’ve now written five blogs on the flow of this drama. But it is time we all chill out. Temperatures get heated after a hard fought game. We need to go 180 degrees and move on. Not fight and vent about a clear lie. We are too damn cool to sink to that level. Our remaining schedule is far from a breeze and it’s time we focus on the things we can control. So, with that I am shutting off #ACGate and #CrampGate.
Time to make some fried Rice.
PS: Michelle and Rocky, it was a pleasure doing time with y’all last night. Couldn’t ask for better cellmates. I’ll go to jail every day of the week and twice on Sundays if it means exposing racist assholes. No queso and margs while in jail did suck though. We’ll need to remember that for next time.