Texas A&M

Does Texas A&M Need A Financial Advisor?

Look, I’m not one to tell someone how they should spend their money. Nor should I be. Just this past week, I spent over $1,200 on margaritas, queso, White Claws, date night at Chili’s, and a fathead of Sam Ehlinger. I also bet the farm on the UT game, which to my credit was a low risk, high reward investment:

But, at the same time, I am not parading around the country calling myself an elite, historic program. I don’t hold yell practices every Friday in my backyard. I don’t call anyone who talks shit to me my “little brother.” I sure as hell don’t start seasons going 2-2. Nope. I’m just a blogger with a sophisticated palate.

However, as true, red-blooded, Texan, I do feel it is my duty to offer my help and guidance to a fellow Texas team in desperate need of help, even one as lowly as the Aggies. So, this is it. This is your wake up call. You guys are spending way too much fucking money on Jimbo Fisher. Maybe it’s time to open an IRA, a SEPP, expand your portfolio a little bit. Diversify. Stop spending all your money on a wasting asset, aka your football team and Coach Jimbo. Maybe consider volleyball or golf? Perhaps swimming? Rowing? Either way, whatever it is you decide, I’m here for you Aggie. My door will always be open.