Austin Longhorns

Does West Virginia Have A Mascot Problem?

By definition a mountaineer should be fit. Strong. Durable. Athletic. They are climbers afterall, hunting and scouring for their food. So, when I saw this dude I thought something was amiss.

If you take some time to read the West Virginia Mountaineer Wikipedia page, you’ll learn the first West Virginia Mountaineer mascot was a fellow named Boyd H. “Slim” Arnold.

I’m not making this shit up either, the dude legit went by “Slim.” Here is a picture of Slim from the Wikipedia page:

As you can see, “Slim” was slim.

But I dug deeper. I thought to myself, surely I’m missing something. No way West Virginia would prance out an uncharacteristilcly thiccc mascot for no reason.

It was then I stumbled across the West Virginia Mountaineer statute on the campus of Morgantown:

And this bro, looks nothing like this bro:

Clearly, the WVU mascot being fat is not a tradition. It’s not usual. Not commonplace. It’s quite frankly, very out of the ordinary.

When and why did the Mountaineer mascot decide to let himself go? Was it because he was tired of staying in shape, only to watch his team lose year after year. Did he give up on himself after realizing his team had never won a National Championship. Perhaps it’s because he realized they also have never even played in a National Championship? Maybe it’s because his team has never been ranked #1 in the history of their football program? Could it be because WVU has never had a Heisman winner?

I honestly cannot be sure. If I had to guess, it would be an accumulation of all those things mixed with unhealthy eating habits.

Bottom line, its a sad state of affairs for the West Virginia Mountaineers. My thoughts and prayers are with the out of shape mascot at this time.



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