Cowboys Dallas

Sources: The Top 10 Jason Garrett Suitors

Yesterday, we blogged the comments Jerry Jones made in regard to the speculation that Jason Garrett’s time may be running up in Dallas. Jerry, of course denied Jason was on the hot seat and went a step further to say Jason would be very sought after if the Cowboys were to fire him.

All across Texas and the internet, people wondered – who the fuck would want Jason Garrett? A dude who in his ten years as head Coach has produced disappointing season after disappointing season, and a record of 2-3 in playoff games.

I reached out to my sources and to my surprise there is a lot of interest in Jason Garrett. Here is the list I was given as his most likely landing spots:

  1. The new Wendy’s mascot
  2. Ed Sheeran’s back-up singer
  3. Lead role of Annie in Annie on Broadway in NYC
  4. Replacing Lindsay Lohan in Parent Trap 2
  5. Andy Dalton’s backup in Cincinnati
  6. Lucy in the reboot of the classic tv show I Love Lucy
  7. Prince Harry’s body double
  8. Carrot Tops opener in his upcoming Stand Up tour.
  9. Replacing Seth Green in Road Trip 2
  10. Shaun White’s strength coach

Stunning. Who would have thought Jason had so many options available to him? Or that he was such a sought after actor? It has to feel good to be Jason, knowing if the Cowboys gig doesn’t work out, you’ll land on your feet very quickly.