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BREAKING: The Astros Are The 2017 World Series Champions And Everyone In Baseball Kinda Cheats

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If you’re living under a rock, the Astros are currently under fire from all angles; the MLB, internet, media, fans, opposing teams, etc. And it all started with this asshole Mike Friers:

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Friers is a disgruntled ex-Astros pitcher who came out and said while playing for the Astros during the 2017 World Series run, the Stros were stealing signs with the aid of a camera, trash can and electronic buzzers taped to their shoulders.

Yes, you read that correctly. This isn’t about steroids, hacking player personnel databases, pine tar or juicing baseballs. Nope. This is about tipping pitching signs! Yawn.

Unfortunately, the MLB didn’t think it was so minor and laid the hammer on us:

Which set in motion the Astros firing Hinch and Luhnow. Then, yesterday, current Red Socks’ manager, Alex Cora, and New York Mets’ manager, Carlos Beltran, both stepped down from their respective teams, as both were on the 2017 Astros coaching staff.

To make matters worse, this entire saga has now produced multitudes of idiot internet investigators, specifically Dodger and Yankee ones:

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But as I said earlier, these internet investigators are a bunch of idiots. And here is why:

Oh and that lowly Mike Friers, here’s a picture of him cheating the game of baseball with a big ole load of pine tar on his glove:

Unreal.

And here’s another picture of Friers happily accepting a 2017 World Series ring – he didn’t seem to care or raise any of these cheating allegations then:

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Shame on Friers.

But look, I’ll admit the Astros were probably operating in a grey area back in 2017. But what team wasn’t? In every sport that’s ever been played in the history of sports there’s been grey areas in the game. Where competitive and cheating lines get blurred. Whether that’s deflating footballs, deer antler steroids, pine tar, or even tipping pitches. And if you don’t think EVERY SINGLE TEAM in professional sports is living in those blurred lines day in and day out, well, then you’re just as dumb as the internet sleuths of the world.

Also, even if the Astros were stealing signs, they still have to take these alleged tipped signs and go out and execute? I would argue it takes just as much skill to listen for a pitch tip, digest that tip in a matter of a millisecond, make the adjustment both mentally and physically, and then all within that same millisecond hit a tiny ball traveling over 90mph? Honestly, it seems like it actually would be harder to a hit a tipped pitch than a non-tipped pitch?

Not to mention, isn’t it a skill in its own right to even figure out the tip in the first place? No doubt there‘s got to be a lot of work, dedication, skill and grit that goes into locking down exactly what pitch the pitcher will throw based off of something so small as the way he’s holding his glove.

Bottom line, this whole Astros are cheaters, lock’em up and throw away the keys for tipping signs is the most pathetic look I’ve ever seen. The fact it seems to all be coming from Yankee fanbase is even more sad, but unfortunately not surprising.

Jealously is the most sincere form of flattery and right now these Yankee fans got me blushing hard!

PS: Since the firing of Hinch and Luhnow, the Astros odds to win the World Series have remained unchanged (+600). Vegas knows whats up.

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