Does Mike Fiers Have The Worst Beard In The History Of Beards?

Mike Fiers did not want to address Astros sign stealing fallout: “I appreciate the question, I’m just not talking about that right now. I want to focus on this team and not the past.” pic.twitter.com/ecsNF2h0Hw

— Martín Gallegos (@MartinJGallegos) January 25, 2020

It’s no secret Mike Fiers is the most despicable human on the planet. But what’s up with his beard? Why does it suck so bad?

Last time I checked having a horrendous looking beard was definitely not in style. Does Fiers just enjoy looking ugly and snitching on old teammates and coaches? Is that how gets his rocks off? Sure as hell seems like it to me.

And as to his oh poor me “I don’t want to be a distraction to my teammates” routine— um, hey Mike, you probably should have thought about that prior to trying to take down and disparage the most storied franchise in the entire MLB, along with the MLB itself. Because to me, it doesn’t seem like you were to worried about being a distraction to your teammates when you were off doing that?

You also didn’t seem to be worried about being a distraction to your teammates when you loaded up a big wad of pine tar and illegally put it all over your glove in the middle of the game:

Official Mike Fiers’ Beard Rating: .000000001/10