Gerrit Cole Regrets Signing With The Yankees?

Texas tacos >>>>>> New York tacos https://t.co/gIVQ8pu7wr

— HouseOfTakes (@HouseOfTakes) May 6, 2020

Anyone who knows anything knows eating a shitty taco is the absolute worst. But luckily a taco is pretty hard to fuck up. It’s something hardly ever seen — there’s a reason why Taco Bell is a billion dollar empire.

So, make no mistake about it, when someone eats a fucked up a taco it’s a HORRIFIC life event that cannot soon be forgotten or forgiven. And you’re living in bannnanaland if you don’t think this is a fucked up taco:

The burnt edges around the tortilla screams amateurism. A New York chef who hasn’t spent a day in his life in Mexico rushed the preparation — rather than making a homemade tortilla, got a store bought and quickly overheated it on the stove. PATHETIC.

And don’t even get me started on the lackadaisical blob of guac thrown on top. Unreal.

Bottom line is this. If you find yourself in New York on Cinco de Mayo eating a horrendous, disgusting, unseasoned and overcooked New York taco — are you really going to stay in the Big Apple? Or are you going to get your ass on the first flight back to Texas to the 2017 World Series Champs and beg for your spot back on the mound? We all know the answer.